What Jesus Might Say If He Tweeted Like Donald Trump

Stephen Colbert kicked off the year with a hilarious look at what Jesus Christ might sound like if he were around to tweet like President-elect Donald Trump did over the holidays. 

The late-night host returned to his show on Tuesday after a break for the holiday season and used the opportunity to see what Trump was up to over the last few weeks. Not surprisingly, the president-elect didn’t hold back on Twitter over the holidays, and Colbert wasn’t sparing any jokes Tuesday night.

“In the holiday spirit,” Colbert joked, “Donald Trump is loving his enemies” ― as only Donald Trump can. His New Year’s tweet sums it up best:


The “holiday spirit” can mean different things, but we’re pretty sure it doesn’t mean offering smug messages of false magnanimity. To put things in perspective, Colbert imagined what Jesus would sound like if he used an equally self-congratulatory tone, and it went something like:

Obviously, Jesus would sound nothing like this if he were around to tweet. And frankly, we’d rather abandon this kind of language altogether in 2017. So let’s leave it to religion scholar Diana Butler Bass, who reminded us of T.S. Eliot’s timeless words in a very different kind of New Year’s message:


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